Ever since The Mailman (Karl Malone) helped deliver two western conference titles, Jazz media members have been striving to dub the rising Jazz stars with new creative names. From the less creative abbreviated names like D-Will (Deron Williams) to the quicker than a speeding bullet names like AK-47 (Andrei Kirilenko) people have tried but nothing has stuck better than The Mailman. Here are the current “Nickname Starting 5” who have the best chance to beat Mailman at least in the Best Jazz player nickname category:
1. Stifle Tower
Many terms have been used to describe Rudy Gobert since his gargantuan 7 foot 9 wingspan protects the paint better than many centers in the leg. Many other nicknames such as the French Rejection also pay homage to Rudy Gobert’s French heritage. One Hive Sports original that will be listed as an honorable mention is often confused with The NCAA tournament. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you…. The Big France
2. Party Favors: This one is also a Hive Sports original and it is definitely more original than this D-Fave shortcut the Jazz announcers often use. A word to the wise: Combining a players first initial with the first four letters of their last name isn’t really going out on a limb. Anyways, life is a party with Derrick Favors when he is healthy. He compliments Gobert as he is more polished on the offensive end while Gobert guides the post on the defensive end. Together they are The Block Brothers!
3. Hayward Son: This Hive Sports original stems from a popular 70s song, Carry on my Wayward son. Everyone wants Hayward to not be wayward when it comes to his game and his free agency decision. Hayward hasn’t been wayward on the court but some fans think he might be wayward off the court this summer when teams such as the eastern conference contender Boston Celtics try to entice him with all their championship banners and his former college head coach that almost guided him to a win over Duke University in the NCAA national championship.
4. Da Hood: This one isn’t too creative but it is also a Hive Sports original. Rodney joins our new President The Donald as the only guy to have an article next to his name. In the words of Doughboy (Ice Cube) in the 1991 classic film, “Either they don’t know, don’t show, or don’t are about what’s going on in the hood.” After Rodney’s game winning three against the Mavs in December, Dallas fans are trying not to care about The Hood almost as much as they are trying not to care about The Bad Man, Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers who guided his team to a close win over the Dallas Cowboys in the NFL playoffs.
5. Ingles Ward: There have been a few clever Jazz reporters who have tried to name him “Jinglin’ Joe” or “Joe Jingles” but Joe doesn’t need Jingle bells to describe his game. There is already enough jingling going on with the cowbells that Jazz fans ring at games. While Joe is a married man, his Australian accent could be quite the charm if he showed up at a Mormon Singles Ward in Utah. That is why he shall henceforth be dubbed “Ingles Ward”. There will be a Ward Family Night at his home in Salt Lake City next Monday.
Whether a benchwarmer or the star player, Jazz players can ensure that witty sports reporters will try their best to give these players nicknames that will be appealing to fans and hopefully to them.
Anyone who plays in a town nicknamed “Swat” Lake City can expect no less.