Jazz Players as Harry Potter Characters

by Daniel Olsen | As Harry Potter was finishing the Battle of Hogwarts, the Utah Jazz were playing the Chicago Bulls in the NBA Finals. While it’s just a fictional story, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone was first released in America in 1997 around the time of the first Jazz vs Bulls Finals as well. Although it doesn’t directly relate with anything with the Jazz, it’s always fun to combine two different worlds. Let’s see what happens when we assign each current Jazz player (and Coach Snyder) a character from Harry Potter that best fits their personality.

Donovan Mitchell: Harry Potter

If we were doing a Fantastic Beasts article, Donovan he would be the infamous Acromantula named Aragog. “Spida” Mitchell loves spiders so he definitely can’t be Ron here. He might flee from a snake judging by this tweet.

Since Donovan is the hero that sometimes needs help from his talented teammates let’s make him Harry Potter. He seems like a leader that can eventually teach others how to play basketball just like Harry Potter started Dumbledore’s Army. Also Harry Potter was the youngest Seeker in a century in Quidditch. Donovan was one of the most talented rookies to ever wear a Jazz uniform. It will be interesting to see how Donovan’s story ends. Jazz nation hopes he is The Chosen One but just like Harry, it won’t come without adversity.

Joe Ingles: George Weasley

There is only one place for Headband Joe. Maybe his ear didn’t get blasted off but he still had to bandage his head which sparked an amazing finish in Memphis. He is also humorous and clever. He started a podcast during quarantine. If you cross him he will throw a zinger right back. If he only had a twin it would be perfect!

Mike Conley: Professor Lupin

Mike Conley doesn’t look like a werewolf but he does seem like a “unicorn” teacher like Remus Lupin was for a year at the Defense Against the Dark Arts position. He will hopefully play for the Jazz for more than one year. He should at least play two years barring a trade as he will become an unrestricted free agent in 2021. He is exceptionally talented at shooting with either hand as he used this talent to win the HORSE tournament against other basketball players during quarantine.

Rudy Gobert: Ron Weasley

This was a tough decision.  While Rudy has had a Harry Potter lightning bolt shaved into his hair for “magical powers” he has more of the goofy nature of Ron.  For the most part Ron got along with Harry except for a brief spell in the fourth book.  At that time Ron was jealous that The Goblet of Fire picked Harry despite being underage.  Rudy is the size of a part giant like Hagrid but in this case he has also been overlooked as Donovan Mitchell’s teammate.  Yes he got defensive of the year but that was definitely expected with his stats.  He was snubbed from the All-Star team last year just before winning his second consecutive Defensive Player of the Year Award.  Rudy is Ron and Harry is Don.  Hopefully the feuds don’t get any more heated or they will be like the toxic Ron and Hermione marriage.  

Georges Niang: Neville Longbottom

Georges is classic Neville.  No he’s not the forgetful round-faced eleven year old but he is like the kid who was nerdy in school but grew up to be really cool.  He will still always be our favorite goofy guy but he learned to hit the corner three just like Neville learned to perform defensive spells after joining Dumbledore’s Army.  Georges now has a cool nickname in the Minivan.  He also has a podcast in Georges Drive and Dish.  Make sure to keep listening to Georges and watch his sweet shooting highlights this season.  If you forget then your Remembrall is sure to let you know you’ve forgotten something.  Like Neville, you may find it hard to remember what you’ve forgotten!

Emmanuel Mudiay: Dean Thomas

He doesn’t have a prominent role but from the book we know that he dates Ginny Weasley for a bit.  It seems like he would be the guy to date Ron’s sister (or in this case Rudy’s sister).  Who knows, maybe Rudy’s sister ends up marrying Donovan.  Probably not but it’s fun for the sake of this story to make it that way.  Dean has some skills and so does Mudiay when it comes to his craftiness at weaving his way to the rim.

Jordan Clarkson: Seamus Finnegan

Jordan Clarkson is the classic sixth man which means he would be a perfect Seamus Finnegan.  Seamus was also a backup role but definitely a funny one.  He had quite the explosive wand in the first movie and he and Harry had some conflict in the fifth book when Seamus didn’t believe that Harry really saw Voldemort.  Clarkson has that fiery shoot-first mentality and Seamus does seem to walk with that same swagger.

Ed Davis: Sirius Black

This is a very prominent role for Ed but he seems to have a dog-like nature like Sirius Black who can take the form of a dog. He is also a rebound king and we all know dogs are good at retrieving.  Some might make him out to be the bad guy just like Sirius was framed as the bad guy for a while.  He might not put up the stats but just like the Prisoner of Azkaban, Ed is doing work behind the scenes to be a great asset to the Jazz.

Bojan Bogdanovic: Cedric Diggory

We are giving Bojan this title only because Cedric was a martyr and Bojan is the one injured guy who can’t compete in the NBA restart.  Cedric was described as the lone hero of Hufflepuff and Bojan was certainly the biggest hero with his two game winners for the Jazz over the Bucks and Rockets respectively.  That’s like beating Gryffindor and Slytherin in one punch.  If we remember correctly, Cedric did beat Gryffindor in Harry’s third year only because Harry fell off his broom due to the dementors.  Bojan might look more like Cedric’s Father Amos but back in his youth he was probably a strapping young lad like Cedric.

Tony Bradley: Hagrid

Tony is a big guy like Hagrid and even though some might think he doesn’t have enough magic to last in the NBA, the second round draft pick has a few tricks up his umbrella.  He seems like he might like dangerous creatures and he’s a pretty big guy just like Hagrid.  He has learned a lot from the G-League so expect this guy to get to his Hut, play some video games and get ready for the NBA re-start.

Jarrell Brantley: Lee Jordan

Not much to say here.  Brantley is a rookie so he might do better at a little Quidditch commentating on the side.  It will be a while before he plays a prominent role for the Jazz if he does get that opportunity.

Juwan Morgan: Charlie Weasley

If you give him some long red locks then hey, Juwan Morgan could pull it off.  A cool earring and an innate love for dragons would also help.

Miye Oni: Colin Creevey

He would be a great fan-boy on the bench for Harry Potter (or in this case Donovan Mitchell).  

Rayjon Tucker: Cormick McClaggen

Ok maybe Rayjon might not be as annoying as McClaggen but his sheer athletic dunks might annoy others as he looks to be a spark the Jazz need in the bench unit.

Royce O’Neale: Mad-Eye Moody

He is a menace on defense and has that crazed look about him when he locks down on his opponent.  As long as he isn’t Olden Polynice with a Polyjuice Potion then you can bet Mad-Eye Moody would be Royce O’Neale.

Nigel Williams-Goss: Roger Davies

Fleur Delacour isn’t saying no to Nigel Williams-Goss for a date to the Yule Ball so Nigel is definitely Roger Davies.  He’s got that Gonzaga swagger about him.

Justin Wright-Foreman: Justin Finch-Fletchley

This is mainly due to the hyphenated last name although he certainly might get splashed by a Donovan Mitchell water bottle and freak out thinking Donovan was trying to set a snake on him.  This happened in book 2 when Harry was speaking Parseltongue and told the snake not to hurt Justin.  Justin thought Harry was telling the snake to hurt him.  There are misunderstandings sometimes like this but it builds team chemistry. 

Quin Snyder: Professor Snape

Quin is a good guy and more likable than Snape but he does have that long greasy hair.  He might occasionally give off the wrong impression but, like Snape, Coach Snyder has a heart of gold very deep down.  Did Quin care for the Utah Jazz all this time? Always.

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