All-Mascot teams of Utah

All-Mascot teams of Utah

by Daniel Olsen

The players, coaches and other personnel all entertain fans. However, what about the unsung heroes? The people who pull crazy stunts in itchy costumes and pull pranks on fans should be celebrated too. We will give the fans a list of the best mascots in Utah on the prep, college and pro level. Instead of rank from best to worst, we took a list of the top 15 and will put them in three tiers of All-Mascot teams. These furry friends are looking for the max extension that comes with this prestigious award. Let’s begin with the starting five on our team.

First Team: Superstars

1. Cosmo

Yes, this BYU mascot is king of the Sirius XM College mascot Twitter poll. That is why he is starting at point guard. He can dunk from the three point line with a little help and dance better than the girls on your high school drill team. He’s so popular, they named a dessert after his tail. When Chuck Norris goes to sleep, he checks under the bed for Cosmo. Ok, you get the picture. Cosmo is a great mascot so he will be the floor general for this team.

2. Big Blue

It wouldn’t be a true blue backcourt without a mascot from another blue college team in Utah. Big Blue, the mascot for the Utah State Aggies, is a fan favorite. He has been seen on a motorcycle, jumping from the Jumbotron and pulling off stunts of his own. As the mascot from one of the top basketball programs in the state with hot shooters like Sam Merrill and Jaycee Carroll, Big Blue is going to make it rain from three at the shooting guard position.

3. Thor

It wouldn’t be a true starting five without the God of Thunder on the team. This mascot is actually a Thunderbird which represents Southern Utah University. Located in Cedar City, this mascot is one of the hidden gems of the south side. Zion’s National Park, Bryce Canyon and Thor are the best sites to see when you plan a weekend getaway to the warmer climate of Utah. Thor is your MVP small forward who will carry the team like a LeBron James does at the pro level.

4. Waldo

If you’re wondering where Waldo is, he is the Wildcat Mascot at Weber State University in Ogden, Utah. He is definitely the most fashionable mascot with the school’s purple colors. He is reminiscent of a former Utah Jazz small forward who was an MVP when the Jazz were wearing their famous Purple Mountain jerseys. Waldo is your starting power forward.

5. Jazz Bear

The Jazz Bear may not look like a center, but don’t be fooled. As someone once told the Trailblazers before they drafted Sam Bowie instead of Michael Jordan, draft the best player and start him at center. The best part is he doesn’t even have a nickname. He is just known as Jazz Bear or Bear for short. He is a prank All-Star and a hype machine MVP with his gigantic signs at games. He also pulls off skits where he will devour the opposing team’s mascot. Bear is one of a kind. Rudy Gobert might be the two-time Defensive Player of the Year but the Jazz Bear has been the Mascot of the Year since he was introduced in 1994.

Second team: The Deepest Bench

6. Swoop

Ute fans are probably screaming right now but here is the fact. It’s no shame to be the Sixth Man. Swoop, like Jordan Clarkson for the Utah Jazz, is a prime candidate for Sixth Mascot of the Year. I also docked points for him basically being the Philadelphia Eagles mascot wearing red. This NFL team also calls their mascot Swoop. They could change the name and then maybe he could crack the starting five but for now, there’s no shame in letting Swoop provide that spark off the bench.

7. Willy

If the Beehive State mascots want to pull off the W over other mascots in the country, they can take this other W mascot off the bench when Waldo is tired. This mean green Wolverine can be the tough guy that these mascots need to stand up to other teams. Utah Valley University can be proud of this mascot that would provide quality minutes off the bench.

8. Brooks

He is the newest addition to the Beehive Mascot team. Dixie State changed their name to the Trailblazers in 2016 and named their mascot as Brooks the Bison. Brooks will pave the way for aspiring mascots. If they wash behind their ears and practice their stunts, they can one day make the team of the elite mascots of Utah.

9. Bumble

No, this is not the dating app that also started in Salt Lake City. Bumble is the mascot for the Salt Lake Bees baseball team. This team plays at one of the highest levels of baseball in Utah, Bumble can be like Danny Ainge of old and make the jump to basketball. His stingy defense is sure to put a stinger in other high-scoring mascot opponents.

10. Leonardo

The Real Salt Lake mascot is the Monarchs, and we all know the lion is king of the jungle. This mascot might not be the king of Utah but RSL is certainly the top level soccer program in the state. Leonardo will look to bring that championship pedigree from a team that won the MLS Cup in 2009.

Third Team: High School Time

11. Jordan Beetdiggers: Digger Dan

While their team isn’t much to talk about in football or hoops, the Beetdiggers might have the funniest mascot of any team in the state at any level. Digger Dan just adds to the fun. It sounds like a name of a character on a PBS television show for kids.

12. Davis Darts: Dart Man

While this is one of the most creative names for a mascot, it’s a crying shame that Jaxson Dart transferred to Corner Canyon instead of Davis for his senior season. The pun opportunities would have been more endless than they already are.

13. American Fork Cavemen

Why did the caveman throw his silverware away? Because it was a Spanish Fork. The Caveman only eats with an American Fork. All puns aside, this is quite the mascot. As long as they don’t have a big company like GEICO questioning the intelligence of their mascot, they are a happy bunch.

14. Ben Lomond Friendly Fighting Scots

It’s not a dress. It’s a kilt. Perhaps this joke is why the friendly Scots can become fighters sometimes.

15. Logan High Grizzlies: Grizzwold

This guy barely made the cut as the writer’s choice. This guy isn’t an unusual mascot but he has a fitting name and the writer graduated from this school.

Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images ©

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