Welcome to the new era of the Pac-12! The dust has finally settled, the realignment papers are signed, and we officially have our football conference ready to roll. While Teresa Gould is busy planning an imaginary Media Day, we’re focused on the real pillars of these universities: the mascots roaming the sidelines in their spunky costumes.
In honor of the original Dundies episode that aired over 20 years ago on The Office, we are rolling out the red carpet fore the inaugural Pac-12 Mascot Dundie Awards.
The Bushiest Beaver Award: Benny Beaver (Oregon State)
In honor of Phyllis Vance, who seemed to like this award less than our mascot friend, we have to start with one cornerstone of the surviving Pac-12 structure. Benny Beaver has been representing Oregon State since he officially debuted in 1952. though the state of Oregon is called the Beaver state for reasons that pre-date him all the way back to fur trappers in the early 19th century. Benny wins this award not just for his toothy grin, but for his sheer resilience. Benny was bushy, well busy, keeping the Pac-12 name alive when the 12 went down to two for a brief period. When asked about his thoughts on this prestigious award, he said he hasn’t been this happy since he was named the Capital One Mascot of the Year in 2011.
The “Coolest Name in the Cubicle” Award: Butch T. Cougar (Washington State)
To some, most mascot names are silly. Buster is just a rabbit on a PBS show. Time out is what you give your toddler when they change the channel from the game to PBS shows. However, Washington State’s mascot is the coolest cat on the block since Michael Scarn. Butch T. Cougar is an elite name complete with the middle initial. While the live cougar mascots happily joined Stanley Hudson in retirement, the costumed Butch has stepped up to carry on the tradition. Instead of leaving the office for Colorado with some random girl, he just waited for the new hires to arrive.
The Slacker Award: San Diego State Aztecs (No Costumed Mascot)
This Dundie goes out to the school that looked at the booze cruise itinerary, saw “bring costume” and decided to instead pull pranks on the other mascots. San Diego State does not have a traditional, costumed, fuzzy mascot running around the sidelines. We respect the commitment to doing the bare minimum. They will show up to the party, drink a few beers, then make sure to trap the rest of the Bud Light in Jell-O.
The Jackass Award: Buster Bronco (Boise State)
Buster Bronco is supposed to be a majestic horse. Instead, the wardrobe department made him look like the Donkey from Shrek. Seriously, will this donkey stop talking about the Fiesta Bowl magic? He wins this Dundie for channeling pure Angela energy while pacing around a football field so blue that birds die every year from attempting to dive in it. Buster is the flashy new hire who brings a lot of loud energy to the office, but really he just looks like a boy named Lampwick who was causing a ruckus with Pinocchio on Pleasure Island.
Hottest Dog in the Office: Time Out (Fresno State)
Fresno State’s live mascot, Victor E. Bulldog, represents the rugged blue collar mentality of the Central Valley. However, the costumed Time Out looks like he could model chairs. The costumed bulldog looks like he’d rather live rent free in Michael Scott’s imagination than bite an opponent’s ankles. He wins this Dundie for being the dreamy dog of the PAC-12.
The Rhyming Name Award: CAM the Ram (Colorado State)
Colorado State has a wonderful costumed mascot in CAM the Ram, who has been a staple of Fort Collins since the name was chosen via a campus contest in 1946. While the live version of this mascot was a walking HR violation in the early school’s history, Cam shows the value of an education in Fort Collins where everyone knows that CAM rhymes with RAM. The jury is out on whether the slackers in San Diego are still trying to figure out what rhymes with Aztec.
Most Color Coordinated Mascot: Big Blue (Utah State)
While Pam Beesly has the whitest sneakers in the office, Big Blue is true to his name. His blue is always Aggie colored, and his white is always fighting to the tune of the Aggie Fight Song. The original live mascot, GUS (Go Utah State) got an HR violation for ripping up the old football field. He’s like a more well dressed version of Pam as Michael Scott would say.
Five Dollar Footlong Award: Boko the Bobcat (Texas State)
While this mascot was named Boko in 1964 for a 5 dollar prize, the modern mascot is the greatest thing to come to the PAC-12 since the Subway Five Dollar Footlong commercials when the USC Trojans were winning championships. Boko has been a proud symbol of Texas State since 1921. He wins this Dundie because he’s the polite new hire who brought Texas barbecue to the breakroom, which to be honest is better than a five dollar footlong.
The Hive Sports 
Leave a Reply